Friday, June 12, 2009
my mood is in a big stir.. fucking irritated and lack of appetitide nowadays.. sick and tired of alot of shit.. one little thing tend to spark up a nuclear bomb inside..
theres alot of things i dun understand.. but i think im getting used to them.. probably when im immuned i wont bother anymore.. but i can see that this attitude has driven me to be even more sickening then i could ever think of..
im loosing hope and interest.. without a firm support everything just seem meaningless and pointless.. im tired.. maybe this is the last time i bother to think abt doing or starting something..
maybe after ns i will be more exposed to better opportunities to excel.. maybe now is just not the right time.. maybe maybe maybe.... u know wats maybe? its just a way people tend to give themselves hope to continue their struggle for survival and doing things which they arent sure of..
im just sparked off by my mum.. fck up.. keep asking me to eat.. nagging and irritating is deffinitely not the right way to approach a person whom isnt happy..
whens the last time i really happy? totally relaxed.. without my mind keep worrying or thinking about something.. always missing,disappointed,irritated,frustrated,worried bla bla bla... can i have a new cycle? how i wish i can go on a holiday.. with a good mate but sadly i dun think it can be done anytime soon.. chances always come at the wrong time.. i duno if i shd blame fate or human error..
im so fucked that i wish i can just sell my soul to something so i couldnt care and i dont have to.. perhaps sell it to army eh?.. be a servant and just listen to orders... give ur 100% into something fixed.. fucked up! i always hope that would be the last option..
slapping myself cant get it out of this state of irritation.. tmr im just going to stay in bed and rot.. i give up already.. wat for bother to think about plans and shit.. it became a task and i dun even noe wat im doing isit wat i want? but seriously i start wondering wat am i doing.. everyday i wakeup.. wat am i doing? wat for? and why?..
nvm.. i'll stop.. i think this wont get anymore sense if i continue.. i need to cool down..
