- i hate cold blooded girls *
2:34 AM

finally have time to be home and rest.. im so tired that i dun want to do anything at all.. aniway just finish talking to dar on msn.. everything is fine i guess.. and i hope it would be..

somethings really shdnt be risked.. and i must make sure this is the last time i worry about it.. arghs!..

sibei sian.. at most also can rest for 1 day tmr.. den sunday got to go back camp again... and all the way for 1week + before i can come out again for 1day+.. den go back again for duty.. this is how shit my schedule for the upcoming week till end of march is..

fucking tired.. can i take this as a reason and mia? hah.. maybe im already doing that? but certain things i really couldnt be bothered ler..

where and wat shd i do to find peace and relaxation?.. luck hasnt been great.. bad news one after one.. i wish i can just go into coma and go into a deep sleep without any worries.. but thats not gona solve anything.. neither isit going to make ur life better...

wat can we do? just learn to face the harsh reality of life..

sighs.. recently alot pple seem to have r/s problems.. my camp pple got afew like on the verge of loosing their gf.. but well also cos their gf is fucking cheating on them when they're stuck in camp.. before i book out just nw also got a guy quarrelling with her gf on the phone.. haiz... normal for ns guys i guess?

aiyah! vex ah!.. some good news please??.. tell me i got a godly scrolled eqs.. tell me i picked 1000 dollar note on the floor.. tell me i can step down from duty from nw on... tell me all the positive things!...

doing duty this entire march while dar going to be on holiday.. this is so annoying.. could've spend quality time with her finally without her worrying and stressing abt sch and her multiple tasks on hand.. blah blah blah.. i dont even know how to plan for her greatest bdae now... wat the fck? so much stress acting on me.....

tired! gona bath and sleep! dun even have the energy or mental power to play computer

- i hate cold blooded girls *
1:25 AM

sibei sian.. tmd.. feel so dam irritated.. everything isnt right.. fuck up.. at times i really wonder wat the fuck is going on to everything around me...

i dun wana specify now.. fuck up!..
going back camp to sleep!

DULAN!

- i hate cold blooded girls *
11:12 PM

i give up.. not gona strive for anything liao.. forget it.. watever it is.. since im always alone.. sleeping shall be my best friend...

everyone has issues, and ur not the only one..

well time to prepare myself for ATEC next week.. its tough but i believe i can get through it :) first time being part of the exercise.. i wonder how its going to be like.. hmm.. im worried but also excited.. cos i want to challenge my limits and see how i can survive..

going out soon for lunch with family.. after that gona start packing my field pack..
i'll stop here..
byes..


The Bottom Line
What someone says doesn't reflect what they mean deep down inside. Call them on it.

In Detail
You're entering a very intuitive phase right now, where you can see the underlying meaning in empty words. You know that what someone says doesn't necessarily accurately reflect what they really mean deep down inside their heart. This ability is very useful, but it can also be very dangerous -- you may sense things that you are not meant to sense. So if you think that powerful people are being disingenuous, be careful how you go about revealing that to everyone else. It could backfire.

- i hate cold blooded girls *
10:59 AM

happy chinese new year to all.. this is the first time i feel that cny is so different.. cos i've only have 2 days to bai nian den have to book in.. the holiday mood is still not over den have to go back camp hear pple cursing at us..

sigh.. kinda lost my blogging habits for the past many many months.. everytime i book out theres just alot of things i want to do.. maybe some private time for myself to do what i enjoy.. but time is never enough.. and to achieve something without neglecting another is always an issue..

i know my parents kinda miss me.. but yet im still so cold towards them.. well cos whenever i try they'll shut me out with bad comments.. and it seems like the last one back in my poly days really killed me.. but even so.. i can feel that i still care.. cos afterall they're my parents and im not a bastard.. sighs.. recently.. theres been alot of mental stress on me..

i've to worry about many things.. and wat i can do is probably just focus on one at a time.. im not a multi tasking person.. and i think i'll never be.. good thing is that it makes me focus on a girl at a time and not trying to mess around haha!.. its just how im created.. but it also has its down side.. nothing is perfect..

sighs.. we all know that our parents will leave us sooner or later.. and especially being the only son.. the burden's heavier.. we've to takecare of our parents when they retire, like how they've raised us up.. i feel pain to see my dad still working hard now cos he's still worried about my future.. else he would had retired..

i really wish that i can craft out my future immediately.. im very ambitious.. for watever i do.. its either be the best or dont even try.. at the moment for army.. im not putting in much effort since my future's already ruined the moment i was OOC from bmt.. else i would had probably went to sispec at least.. but well i still appreciate wat life has planned for me.. eventhough everyday we're living in fear and uncertainties.. but isnt that wats army about? preparing us for the worst.. and im not scare to face it..

my mum has been telling me that my dad hasnt been very well nowadays.. often feeling breatheless.. yes hearing this news for any child deffinitely will give them a smack in the head.. *what have u been doing as a son* i feel horrible.. and my dad also talk to me abt my life etc.. everyone thinks that i dont care about my future.. but wtf.. i think of it everyday...

money is getting so important now that its starting to stress me out.. hate it when people bullshit about how money isnt everything.. im the only son and i've to takecare of my parents.. including my wife parent maybe? since shes their only child?.. and also my own family?.. theres many things i've to support.. and also have to prove to my wife relatives that shes better then them financially etc.. all these doesnt come overnight..

i cant get a job now.. as my army duties are unstable.. the only thing i can possibly seek extra cash from is from the net.. but so far everything seem to be falling apart.. sometimes i dont even know wat im doing.. to some people im just wasting my money.. they dont even think that it'll work.. cos i dont know wat they're thinking.. but for me.. im not gona waste all the effort i've put in.. now all i wish is to recover my lost.. its not impossible but i cant do it alone...

everyone wish for sweetness.. but for me i'll rather taste the bitter part first..

*posted some draft.. figured i wont go back and update them fully anyway

- i hate cold blooded girls *
9:03 AM