heys.. wonder why i missed my entry for yesturday maybe too tired to write.. anyway.. my maths paper is over.. and im sure im gona flung it -.-!!.. becos alot of things i duno how to do.. sian when doing the paper.. i just cant concentrate.. even feel like sleeping -.-" most probs cos i noe im not going to make it..

after my maths paper yesturday at 11am.. i was like feeling soo bored.. just like hopeless.. becos i know this time there wont be any more miracle.. acording to the rules of Ngee Ann.. any failure on second attempted module will lead to dismissal.. sian.. and most probs i need to appeal to get a third try on this module.. which may not be successfull.. if they reject.. then most prob i will have to go for national service.. sighs..

anyway i called benson and wana ask him if he has any movie plans as i know that "eye 10" was out today.. but he didnt answer his phone so i went to find xiaomei.. as i dun feel like going back so early.. wana ask her to eat lunch with me but she dun wan -.-" .. so i sort of talk with her etc until in the end i nv ate my lunch.. and was having gestric pain at ard 4+pm then i went home..

when i was on my way home i called benson again.. this time he answered.. so i asked him for plans etc while i was walking home.. then i ask him if he wana come out for a movie or so.. then i ask him to organize.. and i got home to get my lunch settled.. when i got home it was around 5+pm.. after getting my lunch settled.. i went to refresh myself as i was sweaty and feeling uncomfortable.. while i was preparing and refreshing up i received a sms from cheng ju, replying to a sms i sent earlier in the noon.. then i told him about our plan then he was pretty excited as he wana watch "eye 10" too.. so i told him to meet us at west mall..

soon it was near 7+pm then i went out and took bus 77 and headed for westmall where im suppose to meet benson and zen.. after much wait i finally boarded the bus and reached west mall at around 7:55pm.. i asked benson and zen to wait for me at mos burger when i made my way there.. benson was alittle shocked with wat i wore i think? lol.. just trying to look like old days.. partly was also cos i was lazy to do any styling or watever.. so centre parting with sunglass is the easiest.. anyway do have alot of pple looking at me.. must be wondering why is this asshole wearing a sunglasses indoor.. watever they think i just ignored and we went to get a place in the food court and chatted till around 9:30+pm then we ordered our food.. just then cheng ju whom was having dinner at sake sushi with his mum and sister called me and i told him where we were and he came.. i was pretty shocked when i saw him.. just 2 weeks of ns he got such a bad sunburn.. he was much darker then before.. shortly after he arrived his sister xandra also my god sister ( although i dun feel that she treat me like one ) came.. her dressing was great together with her makeup..

i kept looking at her eyes for awhile cos i find that her eye liner was perfectly done.. really very nice.. and i was hoping she could teach me how to do it lol but she nv tell me.. hmm anyway we were listening to wat cheng ju was saying about ns.. then pengs I tio suan for eating too slow -.-" .. as cheng ju said that ns dun have time to slowly eat lol.. yea.. well but i only eat slowly if the food is nice.. if it sucks then i`ll be gobbling it down.. hm just tat my friends nv see me eat fast before bahs lol ! cos most of the time i always like slowly eating de.. enjoying my food.. heyhey i paid for it hor why cannot slowly eat and enjoy neh.. eat so fast later tio stomachach arh.. -.-"" hahahas..

after eating we went to buy the tickets.. surprisingly it was almost fulled !! then xandra was blaming us for not buying earlier -.-" bleah.. arrh.. but well it was an exception today mah.. last time everytime we go westmall watch movie always no body one -.-!! duno why today so hot.. then well we took the 3rd row from the screen lor bobian.. but well horror show mah nearer the scarier actually lols... hack lar so we just buy it.. after tat we went for a walk and cheng ju continued his experiences in the army..

soon it was 11pm then we walk back to west mall for the movie..

- i hate cold blooded girls *
8:11 PM

omg fark my computer.. duno why always when i blog will have fck up errors.. just now i wrote half way then pop up some debug shit the whole internet explorer gone.. together with my entry... damit im gona get rid of this computer soon..

anyway to rewrite my entry.. today is just another day.. still feeling crap.. perhaps symptoms of wat people say pre-exam stress or watever.. and was still brooding over wat xiaomei said yesturday.. about some people.. and it didnt felt good i must say.. it amazing how people think of you when on the outer they pretend to like you or watever.. anyway i dun wana say anymore..

today woke up pretty early and was feeling pretty restless.. perhaps cos i didnt slept well.. did have afew funny dreams.. but cant identify wat are those dreams about.. just weird.. urban legend says.. dreams are signs of wat might or going to happen and sometimes act as a warning.. maybe true maybe not.. no one can certify this.. but i did have encounters of some happenings which seem so familiar to wat i had in my dreams.. is it just coincidence or is the urban legend true? its just a mystery..

anyway tomorrow will be the dam engineering maths exam.. i feel like pointing middle finger to the dam examiners and walk out of the exam hall.. stupid module.. i wonder how does studying all those integrals etc will help in the reality.. sigh anyway i already can predict wat might happen.. i just hope to get over these exam soon.. if im fated to die.. i rather time flies faster.. else its just so torturing..

well.. just ate lunch anyway.. was a pretty decent meal.. quite to my liking.. before lunch i was watching the last episode of "bo li xie" recorded last night, with my mum.. since i was waiting for her to cook.. it was the first time i watch it and it was so disturbing to the mind and heart.. becos it was dam sad.. ended pretty sad.. darn.. it was about love as usual and it just keep making me think of my love life.. dam.. almost cried.. anyway anyone that watched it too should felt the sadness.. unless they are emotionless.. sighs.. duno why korean shows always likedat.. maybe they love it.. anyway ill stop here.. byes

- i hate cold blooded girls *
3:06 PM

sian just eaten my breakfast.. woke up at 9+am still feeling moodless and kinda tired.. although i slept alot.. i was on my bed since evening then got up for dinner.. after that i went back to my room and lay on my bed.. thinking of lots of stuffs.. there seem to be so many problems that i just cant remove them from my thoughts..

after that i thought of meeting someone whom smsed me... but duno why i didnt.. although i dialed the number twice, i cancelled them before they could ring.. duno why.. sighs..

maybe i should find a girl friend to make my life meaningful again.. i still remember how my life was once meaningful before.. but.. thinking of wat might happen i dun dare to wish for this miracle to happen.. stead reminds me of the horrible hurts i used to had whereby i dont even wish to stay alive to feel it.. just like a wound sliced by a cursed sword.. would never heal but bleeds.. sighs.. i admit i need a girl to care and love for me just like any other normal guy.. but yet im trying to avoid this all the time.. cos when i dont avoid it i get hurt.. sighs... its true that all relationship will have hurts yet im afraid of being hurt? i had enough of the years of tormenting by hurts.. its hell!! Aww.. i already lost all the confidence i used to had for relationship.. i asked myself a lot of times whether am i just having no luck with it or is this my fate?

when i see perfect girls with a guy that look not so great i felt that its rather demoralizing.. am i worst then that guy? how come he can do it but i cant.. maybe hes got a sweet mouth which i must admit i dont really know how to sweet talk nor am i am very good with words.. but its so unfair.. just becos i dont know how to talk like how those guys do.. i have to go through all these misery.. girls seem to prefer guys whom are very good with words even if they are out to flirt.. well.. maybe thats life.. just like how the working life is now.. no diploma u will surely loose your stand..

many times i thought that i should be a flirt also.. since im getting tortured for being sincer and devoted.. but well i just cant do it.. being a flirt you need to be heartless.. cos you will be hurting girls.. this is something i cant do it.. i know the feeling of being hurt.. it sucks! ill rather remain to be hurt instead of hurting others to achieve something.. sighs..

anyway i fell asleep at around maybe 11+pm after all the deep thoughts..

- i hate cold blooded girls *
10:45 AM

sighs.. today really isnt a good day.. well.. slept late in the morning thanks to the previous dumb post.. i wrote so much but then the middle big portion was lost!.. gawd! i was so pissed.. i wrote from 11+pm til 1+am so darn tired.. just when i tot i finally finished my blog.. i found out that the middle portion was lost... sooo frustrated.. and to think that i stay up just to finish that post.. i got very upset then i go to my room and mess with my phone.. after tat i dunno how i fell asleep.. i only know when i open my eyes it was like 6+am then again i realized I fell asleep with the lights on.. gawds.. so i off it and went back to sleep..

when i woke up i saw my clock was like 9+am so i faster try to get out of bed although i was sooo tired.. i went to look at my computer and found out that its only 8+am.. gawd.. the morning haze must have got into my eyes eh?..

i ate my breakfast which was miserable.. porridge and some craps.. eeks.. then i went to my computer again and a guy added me on msn.. he talked to me and said he was from "wholivesnearyou".. then we chat for awhile and i left for campus..

the lab test was horrible.. i donno wat to do.. and i felt like a retarded with the dam lecturer behind me.. gosh! overall i fail it i must say.. then when i was about to go.. a technician came in and talk to me.. he said.. if i dun like electronics then take other course when i got the diploma dun continue with electronics becos he can see that i dun really like messing wf these circuitry stuff.. and he say in the working life will be more and tougher circuits to do.. so if im not interested go be accountant or watever next time..

he was quite friendly and gave afew advises.. after telling me all his experience he tell me that i can look for him if i need help.. so i thanked him and left.. but well wat he said seriously made me thought.. and the more i think i felt very disturbed..

feeling crappy I got back home, talked to shihui abit.. and also Samantha.. she told me she pontanked and her whole class and her were in a house of a classmate staying in bungalow.. she felt that her house was very crappy compared to her friend.. then i gave some stupid ideas like smashing down the walls so she can drop by easily.. but her idea was even better lol.. smashing down the walls by the pond which was separating her house and mine and then make a bigger pond lol.. after some crapping I asked if she do blogging and surprisingly she did too.. so we exchanged blog adds and I started to read her blog.. and it was interesting lol.. surprised that she wrote a little about me lol!.. but well she left soon cos she going to eat pizza and go back school for training..

after that heartless_sOu| a friend I know talk to me then we chat for awhile until she went afk, I was surprised when I found out she was the same age as me..

suddenly my mood starts to devour me although my xiao mei shihui tries very hard to make me happy but I just feel very upset over my academics and also my past sadness starts to slip through the forbidden gates.. I felt very bothered and depressed so I decide to logout and take a rest..

- i hate cold blooded girls *
5:28 PM

Aww.. so sian time flies so fast! so fast gonna hit 12am already and it will be monday!! craps.. 2morrow sucks cos have to go back campus for TP lab test + TP revision class.. *wondering* if i shd go for the revision class ><~ anyway i`ll give a summary of wat happened yesturday and today..

Well yesturday was an interesting day.. manage to found a lost friend that i've lost contact since erm like Sec2.. which is around like 3yrs+ ago i think.. known her since primary 5 or maybe earlier.. Hong Quan, An Yong, An Yong's sis, another girl that live down the street and one more girl that i always call her polar bear lol! forgotten her name.. was like Cecilia or something.. they were my so called child hood mates.. we always play hide n seek/catching/cycling and many other games and sports at the park down the street.. those days were really fun! we would always meet at the park in the evening or they would came screaming outside my gate/spamming my door bell to ask me out and play.. but then our communication suddenly broke off one day, which i cant really recall and it was quite sad.. anyway thanks to "wholivesnearyou" i manage to talk to Samantha again =P.. was really surprised when i found out it was her.. but she changed abit until i dun really recognize her.. i saw her under "People living closest to you" and i found her very familiar.. i start off by sending her a msg in there but she didnt reply.. so i added her on msn as she state her email add in her description.. then i asked her if she was Samantha.. and it turned out she really was.. omg man.. this is like some sort of a dream... unbelievable.. anyway im really happy to be able to contact her again.. also.. i was surprised that she play RO before.. but she said she stop cos nid to P2P.. anyway she logout soon cos her bro wana use the computer..

hm after that i played bejewel with benson and xiao mei shihui.. lol i was lucky when i play wf benson and manage to get to ard 17k score if im not wrong.. but when i play wf my mei.. i was unlucky and keep having no more moves and score was crap! ><~" i was waitin for them to confirm time at that moment, as they were supposed to come my house and do make up for tonight clubbing at Rush.. but xiao di zen was saying that benson was not confirmed yet cos he like gt problem.. as his msn nick was * KaIto^ "FUCK IT __" * then we tried to ask him wat happened etc.. but well turn out that his fine.. just that he gt no cash for the night.. so i told him that i`ll help him wf that.. and everything went fine.. i set a plan to reach my hse by 5+pm as we nid to make up for minimum 2hrs.. and to meet chong sun at westmall mos burger between 7 - 8pm then take train to plaza singapura and walk to Rush.. but well they reach my place at near 7pm if im nt wrong.. and we were kinda in a rush.. so we try to get with the preparation a.s.a.p .. i tried to style my hair but i didnt got the feeling and i make it look pretty sucky.. so after styling my hair half way i stop and help benson to style his hair, as you dont need to have feeling when you style for others.. it much easier to style for others then yourself, thats wat i feel.. or maybe just me.. cos i always want perfection.. anyway the style i thought for him was spike in the center and have a drop down frince at the front.. lol when i did it he was like "omfg wtf.. wat kind of hairstyle is this?!" hahaha yea cos he never had spike hair before so he cant really get use to his new look.. but well later on he seem to get use to it and like it pretty much haha..! but well to me yeap im quite satisfied with the style i made for him.. suits him pretty well :P.. after settling benson's hair.. i asked xiao di, zen to help me style my "half styled" hair ><>.< ...

i got out of my bed at around 1+pm and got on iRC.. surprisingly benson was awake already.. then he asked me to send him a song that he heard at Rush.. then i also turned on my winamp stream to let him listen to the other dance songs before i went for my 2 in 1 meal.. breakfast + lunch lol!.. after eating i got back on irc and zen got in and he suddenly ask for a dedication.. then i became a Dj suddenly.. i began laming on the mic out of a sudden.. haha as usual benson dedicate jolin - shuo ai ni to my xiao di.. lolx.. after that i went to watch vcds.. watched "Bi xian" Ojar board and Face.. both korean horror films.. ojar board was quite suspending while face was pretty meaningful.. but well both film have sad parts.. yeap.. thats basically the entry for today and yesturday.. damm long lol.. kay good nights! sweet dreams!

- i hate cold blooded girls *
11:06 PM

heh.. my first post in this new blog made by my meimei shihui lol ! yesturday suddenly got the feeling to start blogging again.. after i stop updating my old blog for ard 2 yrs.. i thought of making a new one.. but got no time to design my own layout and stuffs so i ask my mei if she could help me make one.. then she really go find skins etc and help me made this blog sia.. didnt noe she so good de hehe thxs meimei :p.. althought this blog look abit like zhar bor kind i think its still pretty good and nice.. lol

anyway just woke up at ard 10+am by my mom, asking me to eat breakfast.. shag sia! nv slept well.. cos was talking to shihui in the early morning until ard near 1am i think then after that she went to bath then was waiting for her call until i fell asleep.. owned lor.. then when i had sort of a nightmare then i woke up from my slp at around 5+am and saw her sms she sent at 1:16:17am.. but veri tired so nv reply.. then also i nv off my lights when i fall asleep! pengs.. so i off it then went back to slp lor..

yesturday was a crazy day.. lol.. xiao di, zen came my hse and he chiong Caesar 3 for straight 10+hrs.. omg man.. lol ! i nv play before so long sia for that game :o.. ownage.. but well he was happy and quite satisfied wf his country he built i think lol cos it was dam big sia almost occupied the whole map! lol owned man.. well actually we suppose to be studying de.. but end up nv :x.. he was bzing building his country while i was bz msning wf my meimei shihui and her frens (liping & grace).. lol but it was really crazy.. talked so much crap until i bth..

sighs.. wonder wat im gonna do.. just 5 days for me to study till my Engineering Maths 3A Exam.. hais.. stress stress.. hate maths man! somemore nv take A-maths in Sec Sch lor.. sigh!.. just like jumping from mountains to mountains.. 1 wrong step and you will fall to your grave :x sigh!..

tonight going to chiong leh... R u s h!!.. duno got strength to dance anot >< abit shabby now... anyway see how later bah! i post later if gt time :p Byes!

- i hate cold blooded girls *
11:10 AM

yang chun n zhen ning 

- i hate cold blooded girls *
8:11 PM