Sunday, November 23, 2008
i know it's been a very long time since i last blogged.. well alot of things happened.. as usual busy like mad in camp and stuffs.. overall struggling to stay alive without getting into unnecessary trouble..
well.. its a emotional sunday.. my mood hasnt been well lately.. and i duno since when it started changing.. maybe after i knew my recourse date?.. haha.. so funny that when i wanted it to come it didnt came.. and when i tot its not going to be near it shot up right at my door step..
well wat can i do.. have to be treated like dog again.. stupid training.. i've been trying to balance the advantage and disadvantages.. but cant seem to find a answer.. i hate it cos i worked so hard.. got through so much crap and in the end my leave and off have to be burnt..
sighs later have to book in ler.. yst still went back to camp for sai kang thanks to stupid LAB check.. next week they coming to check for the entire week.. sighs.. duno how.. and my recourse is like 2 weeks from now.. *sigh* wat to do neh?..
i have no idea.. sigh!.. irritating.. tiring.. i duno if i shd fail FFI anot.. all depends on the MO ler.. my fate is in his hands haha.. but his job is to make sure i go back.. so well actually there isnt a choice at all... watever.. now just have to see if they can let me take leave this 2 weeks.. sighs..
sighs.. tired..
under stress from every espect in my life.. who can understand wat im going thru haha.. maybe they can but wat would they just say the same shit everyone does? hahas.. i dun wana know.....
as i said.. does it matter anymore? so wat if u can measure? wat if theres no more reason for that....
im tired.. theres many thing which im doing and they all seems to have lost its reason and purpose.. tell me something that i've achieved?...
can human achieve thier goals on their own? sighs.. maybe they can but wats the point if they did it alone and theres no one around interested to share and go through it together with him.. but i guess some humans are better then me in a way whereby they dont need people around them.. they just do it to survive...
maybe soon i might learn to be like them..
this is a realistic world... talk with money not ur mouth... u can choose to believe in the fairytales and try to fool urself with hope.. but in the end wat u'll see will just be the bloody truth of life...
sighs im going for dinner already.. i'll continue next time...
this topic is very contradicting and im sure many people have their own feelings and thoughts about it.. but wat i see is just wat i've been going thru and experiencing...
i also wish that life isnt so dark and complicated..
