Saturday, June 14, 2008
been so long since my last entry..
well becos lots of things happened during this period and most of them i guess theres no point writing about..
sighs.. theres been some changes in lifestyle lately due to certain incident and everything just isnt the same anymore.. though as much as i wish for things to be the same again.. i can only hope..
im just tired.. maybe?.. tired of handling so much at a time... some keep saying that i can make it and stuffs.. but its all blind meaningless words.. who couldnt say those simple words?..
i'm struggling as much as i dont like to show.. becos even if i talk about it.. people are just going to say the same old thing... isnt it boring?.. as much as i can find myself irritating to repeat..
sighs.. same old thing going on with my instructor and he keep pushing me for things.. haiz.. long story.. next time i shd learn not to be so honest...
well the course is ending soon.. and well lifes going to change again.. everything... i wonder whats coming ahead.. everyday just pushing myself.. sometimes i wonder wat am i doing.. so wat if i get thru this?? suddenly everything just seemed so meaningless and pointless to me...
hais.. how bad do i feel inside of me? and who can really accept wat im facing and not treating me like i can pull through all things in life..
the worst is empty promises.. disappointments.. why do people have to say things and forget about them or fail to carry them out on time....
i hate myself man.. the magazine says list out the positive side in u and not the negative side.. but my positive side just gives me more negatives results.. i wonder when then i can be free from myself...
haiz.. im not happy.....
if this is just a temporary thing.. i wish for it to pass asap...
aside from the unhappy things.. some good one will be cooking for dar for our anniversary... hugs...
goodnight..
