Sunday, January 20, 2008
yawns so tired.. dam jialet lol nv work out nwadays.. yst go walk around in town only then now feel so tired..
lol! jialet.. i need to resume my biking habits.. but first i need to service my bike lmao! so long nv touch duno still safe to ride anot.. sians..
aniway yst watched Body #19 with the guys.. lol its the 2nd time im watching and i still get owned at certain parts.. seriously i think its a good movie and i recommend all my friends to watch it.. esp horror film lovers..
seems like nowadays we can only trust Shutter director.. his movies are always full of surprises and suspenses.. i learned my lesson lol and i will not watch other Thai horror movies except those by Shutter director.. lol.. cause i watched another Thai horror movie call 'the house' and its... BORING.. stupid lame crap..
dam sians.. everyday i linger around without knowing and understand myself.. sometimes i feel that im living for the sake of responsibilities.. im not really fighting hard for a target.. its sad..
the major problem is not knowing how to bring out my feelings.. as if im stucked in a shell.. its so tourment to live and not being to express yourself..
guess the goal for this year will be..
Learn to be myself..
Understand myself and my surrounding..
tmr is another long week of work.. hais.. another no life week.. i'll try to find some excuse to get my manager permit me to leave the dam work.. sometimes people think its so easy.. "just tell ur boss you dont wan to work or dont wan to continue"..
but just say out i dont want to work liao isnt as easy as it seem.. thought i already indirectly state that i dun wan to continue but he keep insist on me to stay and help.. and its so hard to reject cos i dun have a strong valid reason..
but its kinda hard for me.. maybe its just ourselves thats creating all these shit.. cause we know we want to quit.. but yet we still holds on to the responsibilities that we've taken over.. how i wish i can just be selfish right lol.. like how people can striaght away reject things or avoid responsibilities just because they dont want or lazy..
saying the word NO is so simple for them.. while people like myself think about so many factors and try to make the right choice.. which often doesnt really benefit myself.. so idiotic.. guess everyone on earth can never think the same way else it will be horrible.. there must be a balance...
but now it seems like the balance is disrupted thats why u see so much war and shit going on.. people are getting more corrupted each day.. even pri sch kids now know how to scold vulgarities which i only learn in sec sch.. i wont be surprise that sexual activities wont only start in sec school but even pri sch..
sick shit man.. everyday when i look at those teens nowadays.. i look back and dont even remember myself being such fck when i was their age.. but yea this kinda thinking shd be removed lol.. else we will be like how we always kp with our parents last time.. say they outdated.. lao gu dong etc.. cos they also always scold us say last time they never do this and that.. lol..
realistic way of saying is... this is a life process and people changes.. every fcking living thing changes everyday and its a process that we HAVE to accept even if its irritating to us or watsoever..
doesnt it make you wonder wat exactly is life abt? its as if its a training simulation to let you go thru this process and you cant get out till you die..
born.. study.. work.. marry.. family.. death..
its so disturbing...
im trying so hard to not think about stuff but i just cant stop or control it.. try until i feel as if my head going to explode.. sighs..
im so tired..
i need to find new and more things to keep me occupied and happy so i can distract myself from thinking too much....
conclusion is.. first i need to get out of my fcking job! cos thats one of the major depressing thing im going thru daily now.. sickening.. guess i have to think of a strong valid reason and tell my dam boss.. zzz.. i dont want to be trapped in this shit till end of feb!..
wish me luck... or can any experienced office employee can teach me how to resign? =(
