back from school..

sighs.. going to bath soon and wait for darling..

my mood still hanging in the air..

anyway the previous post only meant for people thats been treating me like crap.. if you know that you're true to me as a friend then dont take it to heart..

hais.. really not in the mood for anything much..

but tonight i've got to accompany darling to JDP as she's been crazy about it for very long.. so no matter what i guess i'll just accompany her.. but i dont think i can dance with her tonight.. unless im high on alcohol..

but thats impossible.. cause darling hate people who drinks.. and i've also stop drinking cause of her.. not to mention i've quit my social smoking as well..

although sometimes when im depressed i still think of drinking and smoking as a temporary escape and relief.. but i've not give in to these thoughts all these while.. ever since i know darling.. lol proves that im not addicted to them i guess or it just shows how powerful love can be..

but of cause love brings headaches as well.. all the while im troubled.. by this question..

how would my future career life be?..

i've this hidden self that wish to be a boss of my own and be successful like my dad.. yet the lack of confidence and skills create the other side of me that might just want a simple job as an employee..

watever it is.. i just want it to be good and stable.. able to support my darling, provide her with a good life and same goes to our kids..

i've a foresight of many possible outcome..

and when i've got the money i deffinitely want darling to go for a full health checkup.. since she always tell me about pains and certain health problems.. really made me worried.. sighs...

i maybe thinking too far like wat darling said.. cause at this current moment i dont have the abilities yet.. but yet i couldnt help it but keep vexing about my current lack of capabilities, skills, independency and knowledge.. theres just so much that i've got to catch up on which makes me feel like a loser when im with darling..

really sucks.. hais..

its really a big challenge for me right now.. as because im too used to my previous single life and negative views towards relationships.. theres many facts i've got to understand and learn now..

but all these while darling has always been there for me and understanding me.. im really grateful for that..

what more can i ask from her?.. she's the best gf i have so far.. and she probably has everything that i can ever wish for..

so all i wish now is for this to last for eternal...

- i hate cold blooded girls *
5:47 PM