The above pictures were taken on Sunday 08.01.2006 between 8:40am to 8:50am..

after having a horrible hurting night on saturday 07.01.2006.. i went back home and blackie was wagging his tail welcomin me home.. at tat moment it felt really sweet.. and cheered me up.. its a feeling that couldnt be described.. thats why i couldnt resist to hug it and take some pictures to remember..

but sadly that was the last time i took it with my dog and it was still much active at that time despite of his age.. sighs...

know why im suddenly talking about blackie?.. becos it's dead!!!.. =(..

in the noon ard 1:30pm.. dad need to go for checkup again so he asked sis to fetch him there.. and i followed along as sis asked me to.. and when we set off.. i got no idea how the dog went out.. we all didnt noticed.. and well i was half asleep still.. but seriously we didnt even saw blackie comin out.. but well that must be the time when it came out.. cos other then that the gate was never opened.. my mum was at home packing stuffs so she didnt even came out or so.. aniway when we went home at around 4+pm.. we saw a dog laying on the road before the left turn into my house lane..

at that moment the tot of maybe blackie flashed across my mind.. but i didnt assume it was cos i still tot that the dog was at home.. and even my dad also say wah which dog is laying in the middle of the road with the hot sun.. but after a second thought my dad said.. its blackie! and thats when wat i hope wasnt true came true...

we drove back home first and indeed.. blackie wasnt at home....... told mum and she dont even noe cos she said she was busy in the house... at this moment i felt so messed up.. couldnt accept the truth.. but well we cant leave it there thats for sure.. so dad grabbed those big black plastic bags.. dad ask us to drive there but sis and i were stunned.. we still couldnt accept this sudden fact.. so we walked there instead.. when we reach there... indeed blackie wasnt breathing anymore.. it's 4 legs were striaght and it was hardened.. eyes was still opened.. and its tongue kinda hanging out alittle..

sis and i lifted it to the side of the road before dad and mum turn up in the car.. and just nice blackie was laying infront of my friend's house.. my parents also know them.. so well they helped.. lifted the dog and place it into the plastic bag... after that my friend's dad drove his lorry to load the dog actually we want to put it in our car but he said due to the hot weather theres some odour already so use his lorry better.. so we just say ok.. sis and i were so mindless at that point..... still we couldnt accept this fact laying infront of us...

he unload the dog body outside my gate before going back.. we're thankful for his help.. then dad called his workers to drive over and bring the carcass to bury at some open field..

look of it seems like it didnt die peacefully at all.. there was some pee on the floor and there was shit on its butt.. seems like when it was struggling for its last breathe under the blazing sun and burning road?.... the thought of it just made me feel even more upset.. if it died in a better way i wouldnt be as upset now..

sighs... must be due to the hot weather that it got a stroke/heart attack or something.. its dam pityful.. but i dont get it why it wana sneak out.. infact recently it always wana get out of the house.. as long as the gate is open it will run out and its hard to get it back home.. hais...

dad says that when dog going to die they normally will run out and find a place to die.. i dont know if this is true.. but if it is.. then its just make it sound even more upsetting.. maybe it dont want to trouble us especially when next week is chinese new year?.... i dont know! sighs... arghsss..

after i got home.. i switched on my hp and saw Samantha's sms saying she think she saw my dog out at kismis ave at around 3:30pm.. if my hp wasn't screwed up i would had brought it out along with me in the noon then blackie would might still be alive right now.... ARGHS! screw this!!!!

yes blackie is old.. its already 15yrs old.. and convert to human life span it shd be around 100+ yrs old.. maybe letting it die is a blessing to ease its pain and suffering at old age.. but not dying in such a pathetic way!.. sighs......

aniway Samantha thanks for the concern u never fail to sms me when u saw my dog outside.. sighs.... but sadly this time round i didnt manage to see ur sms on time..

although blackie and i did had some bad experiences together.. becos i was still young and naughty back in pri school.. and he left me with scars... total of 3 times i think.. got onces was i return from my pri school sport camp and sneak into the home wana surprise my family.. and then wow blackie didnt notice it was me and it just gave me a welcome home bite on my foot.. yea it wasnt a friendly bite.. it was fierce and i bleed and even got to take a jab at the clinic..

but eventhough we had bad memories.. we do have good memories too.. as i played with it since pri 3.. and it also accompanied me through many lonely and tearful nights.. especially when my mum love to lock me out of the house when i was young when i did something wrong or watever.. and wat i have left with me thru the lonely night is blackie.. but of cos my mum dont lock me out till morning.. normally just for afew hours and such.. sighs but even if its only afew hours if there wasnt blackie with me it would had been worst.. and i still remember when i was upset and having no one to talk to i would sit beside blackie and pat its head gently and talk to him.. while it would look at me and give the kind of look as if it understand wat im talking about... we did had many sweet moments..

sighs aniway.. now as im blogging i get more and more upset as i start thinkin back on the memories with him...

blackie is dead......

gone forever.......

wats left is only memories......

for people comin to my house they prolly be glad in a way.. cos they dont have to worry about getting bitten or feeling the stress..

im upset its the first time im seeing my own pet dog dead.. and it deffinitely feel shitty... now i truly understood the feeling Samantha had when her dog Elmer passed away sometime ago... but for her it was different she told me Elmer was put to sleep on injection because it was old and seriously ill.. but overall the feeling of loosing a dog thats been with u since childhood is the same.. miserable and painful...

recently things just happen one after next.. wat great timing set for me uh?..

sighs dun wana continue this entry anymore...

Rest in peace blackie..
Thanks for everything..
Though you're very mischievous and bring us alot of problem sometimes..
But we know you've done all you can to entertain the family and protect us as a faithful guard dog..

You'll be missed deeply....
/sobb...

- i hate cold blooded girls *
5:26 PM