sighs.. right now my sickness seems to be gone.. at this point of time.. well i hope it stays likedat lor.. but well my voice is still kinda dead.. sound like sorethroat.. hais..

aniway im supposed to sleep early tonite.. cos tmr i cant be late for the stupid 10am class.. sighs.. i regret not sleeping early.. cos maybe its becos i stayed up too long? read too much of my friend's blog?.. too many bad shit happening around me? or watever....

i am emotional & depressed onces again..

screw this!!.. why do i have to be such a weak shit!!..

seriously its as if im eaten up by sadness and sorrows now.. just feel like crying for reason im not even sure of.. sighs.. fck this.. its really gona be gay if i cry out.. so no matter wat i will get a hold of myself now...

im just sick and tired of everything in my life.. pretending that im fine and nothing had happened.. when im seriously not!..

maybe my body got used to pretending all the time.. so thats why im so confused with my own emotions.. dun even noe when to express and when to pretend?..

im really tired of my life.. sometimes i feel like ending it seriously.. why does all the shit in life seems to grab hold of my weakness.. sighs.. im feeling terrible inside..

i tried to move on many times.. but things just doesnt seem to let me do so...

im really very tired...

sighs.. looks like girls seriously prefer wild and fck up guys.. u know decent guys can go eat grass already.. and im refering to myself.. i really dont want to stay as a decent person anymore.. why?? what for??... why am i made this way??.. why cant i be just like any evil bastard fcker out there?.. getting watever they want in life using ANY means they can just to get/achieve something/someone..

sighs.. i really feel like MIA-ing from everything and everyone!.. thats wat most virgo's does isnt it?.. avoid their sad and pathetic realities....

maybe i will recover tmr.. maybe i wont....

- i hate cold blooded girls *
1:43 AM