Thursday, October 05, 2006
just got back home from zouk.. wow.. first time i ever been to the famous zouk mambo night.. now i noe why people say their dance steps are very awsome.. its true man.. the way they dance retro was really great.. *claps*.. something i cant really learn lol..
im just a shitty dancer there lmao.. really man compare to those 'real' dancers im nothing.. not even a small fry... those that have saw those real dancer would know wat i mean.. aniway i dun care much narhs.. since i dance is just to release stress not really to show off or watever although i like to dance on stage.. which is becos of the space..
hais.. actually.. starting at zouk i wasnt very happy.. becos i keep getting suaned by joey, hui xian they all.. keep saying i gay dots.. wth.. comment on everything.. i duno lar.. k lor maybe im overly gentle until i look like a gay to girls.. but wtf sia.. its in my blood.. and i dun have attitude.. is there any problem with that?.. i really hate myself too.. u know how miserable isit to have no attitude??.. when u are angry u dont know how to express it.. angry still put on a smile.. u know it sucks and feel horrible??.. hais.. they keep saying lor.. ok lar.. i can take jokes.. but not over the limits please.. i have my dignity too..
sighs.. i wont flare up at girls until i get pushed over the limit.. but really lar some people really are too much!!!... must i become a gangster or a rough guy then pple will respect me and stop all these nonsense??.. i seriously hate being commented especially being called GAY!.. its fuckup can.. hais...
aniway believe it or not.. i almost joined gang in sec school just becos i dont want pple to say im sissy or gay or watever shit crap.. there was onces i really very xiao beng characteristic.. but this girl name siok huang which i really loved deeply in sec school for 4years also the first girl to break my heart countless times.. scolded me out of it.. she say im stupid and silly doing that.. she made me go back to myself..
hais.. aniway fucking pissed off... why do i have no attitude.. why cant i just fuck people when im not happy, felt insulted or provoked?.. fck me!! fck it..
aniway i felt better after i got high drinking 1 jar of "Vodka Redbull" introduced by bengua.. but omg the taste is... ownage!.. i hate cough syrup tasting stuff.. ewws.. but yea i still drank it all.. and wow i was really high at that moment.. and i kinda forgot about those nasty jokes.. else i think i will be moodless throughout the night.. sighs.. but right now i feel unhappy again cos the alcohol effect runs out already..
aniway half way thru.. when i got out from the toilet i saw zhenning's sister xiaohui.. omg lor so qiao.. cant believe it lols..
sighs.. these few days i've been feeling really emotional and mixed feelings.. especially on LOVE.. i really dont believe in relationships anymore.. the term "i love you" is just pure bullshit!!.. yeah i love you but when the feeling is gone or watever dont be surprised that you'll get dumped like a outdated toy.. seriously.. and well even people who're together for years can also breakup in the end.. do people take relationship as some sick joke??.. messing with other people's feelings is a fun thing to do??.. screw this pathetic stucked up world please.. fck all bitches and bastards!!..
i really feel like being one of them too.. just so that i wont feel so disgusted being the opposing.. but i feel tat i cant do it.. sighs..
