Tuesday, January 03, 2006
gawd.. just got up of bed and ate my breakfast + lunch.. shit man my life is messed up.. always eat at the wrong time.. diee..
hais.. last night also nothing much.. after filling up my past entries.. i wanted to sleep but cant sleep so end up going to the fridge and ate alot of junk.. then later went back to my bed... then about 1+am.. i called xiaofeng.. and well i told her i felt about her.. guess i should at least let her know how i feel after so long.. its only fair to her to let her know..
well.. i know her for about 6mths+ liao.. since june.. she had given me much memories in clubbing.. and still remember last time she was really crazy de.. keep on screaming in mu.. lol but now she seldom liao.. like from wild became tamed.. sighx.. still remember she was really active last time.. runnin around in mu.. got nice music then she come up stage dance with us.. lol.. was really funny.. aniway.. i really didnt know since when she started to have feelings for me.. i only know that for duno wat reason everyone started to ji siao her and me.. although sometimes i can feel that she like treat me very well.. but well i tot shes just treating me as a close friend.. becos sometimes i see she treat other people the same too.. haiz.. but well somewhere recent i read her blog then i know about many stuffs.. sighx.. actually i also duno wat i treat her as.. sometimes i treat her just like a close friend likedat.. then we always play around.. i ji siao her and she beat me.. tat kinda stuffs.. lol.. hm.. but sometimes i got really nice feeling with her while sometimes i feel weird weird too.. i also dunno why.. sighz.. although i guess after knowing her so long.. i've got some feelings towards her.. but the feeling is not strong enuff yet.. sigh.. duno if the feeling would evolve into love.. but only till the day when i really know i love her then i will love her.. cos i only go stead with a girl if i really love her.. else i wont try.. becos trying to love someone when the love isnt there wont result in anything good.. sighs.. but well i hope she understands now.. after i've told her about my feelings on the phone..
sighs aniway we chatted till about 3am.. then she went to sleep as she need to wake up at 6:30am for work.. then i also feeling kinda tired and went to sleep.. just when i was about to fall asleep.. my hp *ding dong* and i got up and check the sms.. to my surprise it was selene.. well i tot she dun wan to talk to me liao.. cos she haven call me at all today and only send me a gd night sms at ard 12am.. so well i replied her.. then for some reason i felt that she might be feeling lonely and bored.. so well i called her... but she cancelled it and used her room phone to call me.. then we chatted while she do her blog.. so i just try my best to keep her accompany although i was pretty tired.. then after awhile she told me that eric indirectly says she's fat.. and shes angry.. lol.. aiyo.. haiz.. she and eric always likedat haiz.. duno wat to say also.. i just hope eric can treat her better.. so she can achieve her wish before her birthday and be happy.. haiz.. aniway i also cant do much.. eric's the only one that can give her real happiness i guess.. as for me i can only give her advise, suggestions, accompany her and be there supporting her when she needs somone.. sighz cos im not her bf or wat also.. aniway time flies.. i accompany her until she finished making her new blogskin.. wow.. it was 6am+ lor.. goodness.. but well i went to saw her new blogskin and it was nice.. so keep it up selene =).. u didnt waste ur night away.. aniway i ask her to go sleep as she had school at 1pm later on.. then she say ok.. then we both put down the phone liao..
then after tat i called xiaofeng cos earlier i promise her i will give her morning call at 6:30am.. im surprised that she can wake up sia.. when i call her she woke up liao.. then i went to sleep le.. kns then duno since wat time.. i suddenly got stomachach lor.. fucking pain!!.. i roll around on the bed cant get to sleep sia.. fuckk.. then duno why today got so many cb crows outside at duno which fucking rooftop keep screaming.. make it worst for me lor!.. pain + noise.. cant freaking sleep!.. arghhx.. wtf sia.. although i got sleep abit abit but cannot sleep well nor cos the pain is killing me.. then even now the pain is still there while i bear with it to write my entry.. sighx..
aniway yesturday actually i wanted to forget about selene.. i wanted to kill off the feeling for her.. but in the end it only made me feel more for her and miss her even more.. its so hard to forget.. sighz..
gawd.. i go rest liao.. bth.. fck my stomachach.. duno wats wrong... byee..
