Tuesday, December 20, 2005
haix.. today nthin much as well.. staying at home.. sleep and slack.. haix.. feeling sad.. horrible.. some stuff happened in my life again.. and history is going to repeat.. i dont feel like writtin them out in detail now.. sighs becos it will only bring me more problems..
sighx.. some of my friends called and smsed me these few days.. but i nv answer and nv reply.. sorry.. i just got no mood.. let me be alone okay?.. sorry.. haiz.. if you all know me well.. u all shd know that if i not feeling well or got problem i will not answer any calls de.. haix.. if got important matters then sms me about it k?.. but no promise that i will reply... dont force me to reply u or wat k!.. u will either make me love u for being so caring or make me hate u for being such a irritating fcker!..
i hate it when i am emotional.. i just dun wish to be alive.. sighs.. tomorrow is y2k terry official birthday.. he celebrating at orchard party world ktv.. sighx.. duno if i got the mood to go.. i very fan.. hao fan arh!!.. my head very heavy.. my chest so tight until i cant breathe.. my heart is in a mess and its hurt onces again.. wtf am i doing?.. sighx.. why!.. why!.. why does it have to happen again!!.. why!?.. i guess it all the doing of fate.. sighx.. and this is always wat i get for letting my emotions out again.. sighx.. i shdnt had done it.. i shouldnt had! and i mustnt had!.. please kill it! kill my emotions!.. kill my feelings!.. i dont want to feel anything in my life anymore.. even if it will turn me into a zombie i also dun wan them!.. at least a zombie wont feel pain.. hurt.. or watever!.. sobb... the last time i felt this was just afew months back.. and after that i mia for afew months.. well.. wats going to happen this time?.. i dont know...
sighz.. my common test is just 2 weeks away.. dont know if i got the mood to study anymore.. i feeling so horrible.. feel like crying yet couldnt cry out .. hao xin ku!!..sob... *sings* "All the tears in your eyes, couldnt tell all the lies, will i ever be ever be me again..."
wtf argh!.. i always ask others to be more positive.. but i myself also so fckup.. haiz.. feeling very moodless.. since when?.. since that day.. i dont feel like doing anything.. just feel like sleeping and slacking until i feel nothin at all..
