Sunday, June 12, 2005
haiz.. tired again.. i think theres no time when im not tired.. maybe only when im dead.. whereby time no longer holds anymore value and meaning..
yesturday she quarrelled with me.. i never do anything.. she just feel that i keep pushing her to her boyfriend.. and she thinks that im hiding something from her which i never.. i was really at clarke quay attending my training and grouping course.. haiz.. since 1pm+ i was there until 12+am then i finally end the session..
of cus i never stay in there throughout.. i did came out for rest etc.. have some interval.. sigh.. from wat she said.. shes really very sweet.. like she said she call me not becos she want to talk about her bf etc.. but something else.. and how she went down mu just to find me and get scolded by her bf.. these are really touching.. and i must admit that i really was touched when i read about it.. but why i cant feel it when im with her? maybe restrictions has long ago blinded me..
is she my gf? friend? close friend? sis? or wat? until now i still cant confirm.. gf is impossible.. and the other roles are like just cover up.. but the fact is.. shes taken.. yes thats a fact and it will never change.. but if she still treat me so nice i really cannot controll my emotion.. and history will repeat.. i dont want the same things to happen again.. i need time to forget.. but when i do that she dun understand it.. and she was angry that im not treating her like before.. sigh.. do you think i really like doing this? although i dont like and it also hurt me.. i still have to do.. becos this is wat i must and have to do.. if i continue to be like before somethings bad will happen for sure.. i can already imagine the consequences.. sigh...
yesturday mu was so packed.. i went there after clarke quay and reach there about 1+am then i waited outside till around 1:40am + then i went in.. it was so damm crowded.. even the stage.. actually i have no mood to go chiong as i was also very tired.. but then i promised ahwei so i went in.. i pei him dance on stage although it was so crowded gawd.. but lucky later on the crowd slowly reduced.. hmm the bar top dancers were great.. got one is like having sex sia.. haha that one really make me laugh.. the gal put her legs around the guy waist then keep pumping his dick lol !.. hmm then when ahwei and i went into the gents for some refreshment from the hrs of dancing then we heard lots of yelling outside.. then when we go out then notice got some people buay song with each other.. then keep pushing around in the dance floor.. peng.. then me and ahwei went back to stage there and wait.. all the bouncers came and try to settle the problem.. then after awhile everything go back to normal.. the music and lights start rolling and we continue dancing..
we left mu.. at near 5pm.. then went to 7-11.. shiny jie was quite seh liao.. cos she drank too much beer.. sigh.. then ahwei send her home.. while i slack till 6+am with andrew and his friend.. then i went home.. when i got home.. i keep thinking about her... hais..
i really wonder how much more i can take.. so much stress pressing upon me.. its like a growing tree.. problems just keep growing and linking out in branches.. perhaps this is part of growing up.. but its just far too much for me.. i can even feel the lack of space to breathe sometimes...
family problem, girl problems, studies problems and now got a damn extra problem.. which is the clarke quay one.. gawd..! sigh....
downloading iro over night.. think im going back to play iro for fun since the advance classes are being updated on the sakray server next wednesday.. looks like alot of new things will be implemented...
Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean
Finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
Watching I keep waiting
Still anticipating love
Never hesitating
To become the fated ones
Turning and returning
To some secret place to hide
Watching in slow motion
As you turn to me and say
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
Through the hourglass
I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed
I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today
I am unafraid
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
Watching every motion
In this foolish lover's game
Haunted by the notion
Somewhere there's a love in flames
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn my way and say
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
